Understanding Your Child: Type 9 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 9 of 9

Core Motivation: feel accepted;                                                                                        

Action Goal: find places and ways to belong

Children strongly influenced by a type 9 core personality are not easily categorized.  They readily change their demeanor to match the expectations of those around them.  Type 9 children are very open to suggestion from both children and adults, especially when that leads to approval and inclusion.  When a type 9 child is subject to an unsupportive environment, she generally lacks the motivation or ambition required to seek a way out.  Children strongly influenced by a type 9 personality are generally eager to please and to be liked.

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 9 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.     Does the child seem happiest when receiving approval from a social group?

B.     Are the child’s actions and attitude easily influenced by others?

C.     Does the child seem to lack inner direction and a clear sense of their own identity?

D.     Does the child rarely stand up for himself?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 9 core personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 9 children generally ask for little on their own behalf.  Unless persistently prompted to do so, type 9 children will not tune in to their inner thoughts and feelings.  Unless actively challenged, the older the child gets, the more likely she is to be drawn into peer dynamics that are not in her best interest.  Gently facilitating exploration of personal hobbies and interests will support both her development as an empowered, healthy person, and the relationship between the two of you.

Understanding Your Child: Type 8 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 8 of 9

Core Motivation: feel powerful;                                                                                          

Action Goal: take charge of people & circumstances

Children strongly influenced by a type 8 core personality are likely to develop a reputation for bullying.  Often, these children are not aware of how their behavior makes others feel.  They generally do not realize that other children do not know how to stand up to them.  As such, they conclude that they have ‘won fair and square’ even when they have gotten their way through sheer intimidation.  Type 8 children respond more positively to adult direction that makes room for the child to exercise some power in the process.

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 8 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.     Does the child often act in a way that is perceived as ‘bossy?’

B.     Is the child quick to communicate when he or she is upset?

C.     Is the child generally resistant to being told what to do?

D.     Does the child prefer to play with children who want to follow?

E.     Are other children intimidated by or afraid of this child?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 8 core personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 8 children are often identified by caregivers as disruptive and tough to manage.  However, grownups who understand the need these children have to feel empowered, can appreciate the confidence of these children and their willingness to take risks and go after what they want.

Understanding Your Child: Type 7 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 7 of 9

Core Motivation: feel the high;                                                                                                   

Action Goal: Seek out where thrill can be had in each moment

Children strongly influenced by a type 7 core personality seem to effortlessly embrace the natural joy of childhood.  Type 7 children are generally playful, fun-living, easy-going children who, for the most part, do not wallow in negative emotions.  Unless they are feeling some immediate discomfort (such as hunger or boredom,) type 7 children eagerly welcome opportunities for spontaneity and imaginative play.  Strongly connected to the present moment, these children have a tendency to exhibit dramatic reactions to sensory discomforts. 

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 7 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.     Does the child seem happiest while engaged in exciting activities?

B.     Is the child easily eased into a change of plans?

C.     Is the child generally upbeat?

D.     Does the child have a vivid imagination?

E.     Is the present moment notably more relevant to the child’s perceptions, feelings and mood than any past or future events?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 7 core personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 7 children have as much potential to grow into master meditators or athletes as they have to fall into addictive patterns.  If a child in your life is strongly influenced by a type 7 core personality, he or she will benefit from lots of opportunity to experience the natural highs of sports and other healthy activities.

Understanding Your Child: Type 6 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 6 of 9

Core Motivation: feel seen;                                                                                         

Action Goal: be everywhere at once

Children strongly influenced by a type 6 core personality are generally likeable, sympathetic children, often perceived as having certain ADD/ADHD characteristics.  They often project a strong sense of not wanting to miss out on any corner of life.  Type 6 children are likely to be misread as feeling over-confident while, in fact, they are experiencing internal anxiety that drives them to seek out both distracting and validating experiences.  

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 6 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.     Does the child seem happiest in active, social contexts?

B.     Does the child’s attention remain consistently active, while shifting focus as a matter of course?

C.     Does the child exhibit some signs of anxiety?

D.     Does the child seem adept at eliciting the desired response from peers and grownups?

E.     Does the child express different, conflicting feelings in the span of a day?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 6 core personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 6 children function with a baseline, frenetic energy.  They will generally appear successful and happy, though they are often feeling some sense of anxiety or inadequacy.  If a child in your life is strongly influenced by a type 6 core personality, taking time with nothing on the agenda to be fully present with that child will help to reinforce self-esteem and connection in your relationship.

Understanding Your Child: Type 5 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 5 of 9

Core Motivation: feel important;

Action Goal: reveal what is important and true

Children strongly influenced by a type 5 core personality are very cerebral and analytical.  Their proudest moments involve some form of being proven ‘right.’  They will rarely concede in arguments with other children or with grownups.  They like learning and problem solving, and tend to have long attention spans that they use to stay on any mental task until they feel it is completed, leaving them extremely resistant to being interrupted.  Type 5 children enjoy communicating with grownups, and often feel that their peers do not understand them.  For children strongly influenced by a type 5 core personality, thinking can often feel more fun than playing.

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 5 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.     Does it seem easy for the child to say exactly what he is thinking?

B.     Does the child persist in trying to understand new information until it makes sense to her?

C.     Does the child enjoy problem solving?

D.     Does the child put a high value on being right?

E.     Does the child thrive on opportunities to analyze information and think freely?
F.   Does the child strongly resist interruptions and distractions?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 5 personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 5 children generally are very  eager to show how much they know.   If a child in your life is strongly influenced by a type 5 core personality, encouraging and valuing his or her independent thought process is one of the most effective ways to support that child’s self esteem and the relationship between you.

Understanding Your Child: Type 4 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 4 of 9

Core Motivation: feel understood;

Action Goal: communicate honestly or not at all

Children strongly influenced by a type 4 core personality generally come across as shy and introverted.  They may seem to lack confidence and joie de vivre.  Type 4 children are emotionally sensitive and tend to be wary of new people and situations.  They are very intuitive and feel their intuitions and emotions strongly.  Asking a type 4 child to explain his or her feelings in logical terms is likely to alienate that child and push him further inside himself.  It is very important for children strongly influenced by a type 4 personality to have frequent opportunity for engaging in creative, artistic expression.  Once they find their creative voice of choice, they will gain confidence in themselves and trust in their world.

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 4 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.   Does he or she tend to withdraw, especially where large numbers of people are present?

B.   Does he or she focus on emotional experience?

C.  Does he or she express emotions with intense language?

D.  Is he or she most relaxed around the few trusted family or friends?

E.   Does he or she get very absorbed in one or more forms of creative, artistic expression?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 4 personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 4 children generally are very empathic to animals and those more vulnerable than themselves.  If a child in your life is strongly influenced by a type 4 core personality, focusing on supporting that child's internal world will build the trust and connection between you.

Understanding Your Child: Type 3 of 9

In this post, I discuss type 3 of 9 (Core Motivation: feel successful; Action Goal: lead a major agenda).  A child strongly influenced by a type 3 core personality will be readily recognized as ‘leader of the pack.’  He or she will project a ‘child with a plan’ persona, in a diplomatic, generally not a bossy, way.  Social contact is very important to type 3 children, such that they might get grumpy when they feel deprived of it in any way.  They are born leaders and, if supported, will generally continue to succeed in leadership roles throughout their lives. 

If you are wondering whether a child you know is influenced by a type 3 personality, it may help to ask yourself these questions:

A.   Does he or she naturally emerge as an identified leader within his or her social structure?

B.   Does he or she specifically dislike being ‘managed’?

C.  Does he or she like solving group problems?

D.  Is he or she generally diplomatic (especially for a child)?

E.   Does he or she focus more on practical outcomes than emotional ones?

All of these statements would be true for most children influenced by a type 3 personality.  As always, wings influence the core type, so there may be some minor exceptions.  Type 3 children generally achieve success (short and long term) when trusted with age appropriate responsibility and authority.  If a child in your life is strongly influenced by a type 3 core personality, you will likely see repeated opportunities to foster their leadership development.  The more you pursue those opportunities, the more you will connect with that child.